Well, it’s actually been more than just one day but the days have been so easy for me to recognize.
First was the day I told Randi that I was unhappy and wasn’t going to settle for feeling that way anymore; I wanted a divorce.
There was the day I fired my financial dude because he wasn’t working for me. I’ve fired a few housekeepers also.
There are so many of these decisions that I have made that tell me for sure that I am managing to live my life the best way I can on my own terms.
I have also learned that sometimes the most painful decisions can bring the greatest rewards.
Over three years ago, when I first left my husband; I honestly wondered if I was right in following my heart; what would happen to my kids? This was my biggest concern at the time.
Then; I realized that I had to do this precisely for my kids; to show them what their mother was capable of.
I was aware many people felt I was “lucky” that Randi had married me; he had informed me of this himself. I resented my husband when he laughingly told me this. I didn’t want my children feeling that way. I wanted my children to have a reason to be proud of their mother.
When I initially took the plunge, I found many of my blind female friends acting like I was nuts; a blind woman leaving a sighted man; a sighted man who could drive her all over the place? I have to tell you; I found this attitude ridiculous to say the least.
I knew that by making my move; I was kicking dirt directly into the eyes of that old-fashioned notion that just because I was a blind woman that meant that I was subhuman and should feel honored that any man would want me. Imagine feeling like that?
This was directly connected to the struggle I have always fought; the struggle to prove to the world that just because I’m blind; this fact doesn’t affect anything else in my life. I never wanted to be forced to stay with a man I didn’t love just because I was blind.
This was a very difficult decision but I made it not only for myself but for my children and all other blind women everywhere.
I am stating for the record here and now; I have never felt “lucky” that anyone chooses my company. As far as I’m concerned; they are the lucky ones to get the opportunity to enjoy my company.
A little over a year ago I made another difficult decision. I broke up with a man who I believed was the love of my life. At the time I was sick; I thought this guy walked on water. I let his voice become louder than my own self in my head. He had become so verbally abusive during our relationship; I just couldn’t allow it to continue; I loved myself too much by then.
After a year I reached out to him to see if he had changed.
At first, he was quite soft spoken and sweet. That is; until this morning when he tried hustling me for money. It was so funny how quick he went from smooth talking Romeo to pissed off asshole when I told him to take a hike.
This morning’s experiences just reconfirmed for me that I was right in following my heart a year ago and leaving him.
I’m sharing my story so all women; blind or sighted; will realize that they don’t have to put up with anyone telling them that they are worth less just because they are blind.